your parents love me but you hate me
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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