I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
