Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
