I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
