Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
