I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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