brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
smell my finger.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize