Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
