I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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