just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
