i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
