There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
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you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
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I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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