Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
