I wanna bring you to show and tell
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Barsexuality is the new black.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
