Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
