i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
