bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
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I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
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The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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