so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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