apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
