Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
