So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The uberlube is also flammable
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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