I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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