He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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