I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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