yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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