careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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