just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Randomize
