I must be too annoying 4 u.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
