is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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