I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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