i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
