tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
