Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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