Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
