I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
