don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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