Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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