Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I want to have your abortion
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
