therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
