he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
