Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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