i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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