i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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