I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
my mouth tastes like poor choices
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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