you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
