i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
ugly people sure do ruin things
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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