we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
