At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
