My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
