remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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