Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
