No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
