just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
