I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
