He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
