Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
