I'm lost and stupid without you.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
