i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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