Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
