And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
