Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
