If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
