Just mADE A PArabola og urine
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
