My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
