My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
