I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
