One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
