i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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